Thursday, November 17, 2011

Positive Growth The Hard Way ... Through Conflict

There’s a story about a pastor that could also be told about a coach, a business leader or even an entire town.

The story is about three people in the pastor’s congregation who were extremely difficult. They complained all the time, fought openly and questioned every single thing the pastor did, to the point where the pastor was tempted to leave the ministry altogether.

They’re porcupines, as one author put it.

But then one evening the pastor realized how much stronger and more effective he had become over the years. Though he was embroiled all the time in chaos and controversy, he had somehow become the near-perfect pastor.

He offered thanks for his renewed strength. But still, he wondered, how had it happened?

That night he was given his answer in a dream, when the events of the last several years were replayed to him in slow motion. What he saw astonished him.

When the windstorm around him was slowed down, he didn’t see the hand of God or some superhuman effort at work making him better. Instead, he saw the ghostly vision of the three complainers, all working together and slowly molding him into the person he was today.

Now, that’s a good story, isn’t it? But I have to tell you, I hate that story.

I hate to believe that judgmental, argumentative and controversial people (to some people, I’m probably one of them) actually have a beneficial purpose in this world, or that somehow they actually get their way. I’d like to instead think they get what’s coming to them, which is a life of misery and despair.

But it doesn’t work that way.

If I want to have a chiseled, buffed physique, I can only get it through hours of disciplined exercise and weight lifting. It won’t come by sitting on the couch and eating whatever I want.

If I want a vibrant, productive law practice, I can only get it by working hard and being sincere with the clients I serve. It won’t come by throwing up a fancy sign on Main Street and then hoping ambulances just show up at my front door.

And if I want to become a worthy leader with character, I can only get it by weathering the storms brought on by of some people I encounter along the way. I won’t get there by surrounding myself with “yes” men.

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Oh, how we wish it was.

I will think about this weekend as I stroll the streets of Old Historic Springboro during its annual Christmas celebration. As I walk through a charming town filled with people who are shaking hands and smiling, I’ll reflect on the brutal differences that frequently exist among the people here. I’m not picking on Springboro here; it’s the same everywhere else.

Pick your topic, any topic, and you’ll find many people on both ends of the spectrum. Whether it’s about the school system or the city government or whether I should spend my time writing this column, there are a lot of strong, vocal opinions that, no matter well-intentioned they may be, are enough to make anyone shy away from the public arena.

Leadership is difficult, in any form.

But this is where all of us, like the pastor in the story, need to remember that positive growth can come from the challenges we face. With passion comes intensity. And from conflict comes magic.

Just as the Grand Canyon is the by-product of a conflict between water and earth, our peaceful little town is the by-product of healthy disagreement among its people. And you, no matter what leadership role you possess, get better when things are harder.

It’s a harsh reality that, despite our differences, may be the one thing we can all agree on. Can I get an amen?