There are many times even now, seven years after his passing, when I still hear my dad’s voice -- chuckling when I do something stupid, reassuring me when I feel uncertain, and always, always, always (some things never change) offering his opinion on the direction I should take.
I had one of those moments this evening as I watched the heartwarming news accounts of the Pope in our nation’s capitol and later on the crowded streets of New York City.
It felt as if Dad sat there beside me, telling me – as usual -- his thoughts long before I ever had to ask.
“There’s an example of how to make your case,” he told me. “See? Pope Francis has some very definite points to make, but he does it with a handshake and a smile. He loves people, and knows you never win anyone over by screaming at them. He has a way with his words.”
I shook my head and almost laughed out loud. “Who are you and what have you done with Tom Kirby?” I quipped. “I would have never heard you say something like that 25 years ago.”
“Tell me about it. Some of my letters could’ve blown up the town.”
“Yeah, the letter to the judge after that medical malpractice case scorched the walls in your office,” I said. “So why are you telling me this?”
...
“BECAUSE I SAW YOU in that tough situation in the courtroom the other day. You were tempted to give that guy the what for. I recognized that look on your face, because it was mine almost every day on Earth. But you held back, and you wondered if it was the right thing to do. It was. That guy wasn’t about to accept a lecture, but he was more than willing to hear a magistrate give him a respectful kick in the hind end.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. No one looks at a finger in their face and then backs down. No one listens to accusations and insults and then says, ‘Wow. Thank you. I had no idea how big of an idiot I was until you pointed that out.’”
“Who said that? Jesus?”
“No. I did. Just now.”
“You’re sounding like a preacher.”
“Who would’ve thought? But it’s amazing what happens when you see perfect love in action all the time. It’s really something.”
We sat quietly as the Pope offered a special blessing to a little girl in a wheelchair. Then we watched a replay of his appearance in the Congress, when House Speaker John Boehner got tears in his eyes just listening to the Pope speak.
Dad continued, “Don’t ever think being patient and respectful is weakness. After all, real strength doesn’t knock people down. Instead, real strength lifts people up.”
...
I SMILED. IT WAS exactly what I needed to hear. Whether it’s in court or on the cable TV shows or even here on Facebook, anger is so often mistaken for persuasion. But I was thinking maybe that’s the only way to be.
“So tomorrow’s your birthday,” I said. “Eighty years old. You’re an old man, you know that?”
“Hey, I was flying with the Blue Angels this morning,” he chuckled. “I might play centerfield for the Yankees tonight. I’m in better shape than any 20-year-old down here.”
“So what do you want for your birthday?”
“I have everything now. I just want you and all the kids to be happy. Life’s too short to get so worked up all the time.”
“C’mon, how ‘bout I send out a scathing Facebook post that tells the world it’s going to hell in a hand basket? I can do it in honor of your birthday.”
“Nah, it’s not my style anymore. I wish I would have known all this a long time ago so I wouldn’t have been so upset all the time. We could have enjoyed our lunches more. We could have enjoyed our time around the office more. ‘Cause you know, if you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up someplace else.”
“Who said that? The Pope?”
“No. Yogi Berra. I met him yesterday. Now there’s a guy who has a way with words.”