In Bill’s Armacost's Book of Life, the opening chapter would include these words:
“Life should not be a journey to our funeral with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, all prim and proper, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! what a ride!'”
Bill, a family friend who died Monday at the age of 75, lived a good, long and full life, and lived out those words. It was a privilege to be part of his memorial service this morning.
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I MET BILL 33 years ago at Homer's Restaurant in Springboro, where I had lunch with Homer Preston, Bill, Don Barton and my dad. Being just out of college, I sat there in casual clothes, while each of them, because they were professionals, wore suits and ties.
While I sat quietly, they acted like fraternity brothers. Bill in particular practically had a one man show going on. In short order, he had a story to tell, and it would be the first of a million stories I heard from Bill in 33 years.
"Listen to me," he'd always say.
"You ain’t gonna’ believe this," he'd add.
"This is a true story."
I don’t remember what his exact story was that day. But it could have been about a thousand different topics, all of which Bill was imminently qualified to talk about -- friendship, raising kids, golf, or any of the Cincinnati sports teams (Go Xavier!).
But whatever story he told, he said it with a fire in his eyes and an enthusiasm in his voice, like a 10-year-old describing what Santa Claus gave him on on Christmas.
"It was Phenomenal, man," he'd conclude. "You have no idea. Phenomenal."
In the next few years, my mom and dad would do a lot of things together -- dinner, parties, vacations. They would return and I’d ask Dad, “How was your trip?”
He’d shake his head, chuckle and say simply, “Armacost is crazy.” My mom will tell you today, “He was the funniest person I have ever been around. He made you laugh all the time.”
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THROUGH THE YEARS, I CAME to realize some common themes about Bill:
I. In Bill’s Book of Life, no one ever left a social gathering Bill attended and said, “Oh, was Bill Armacost there?” That never happened. Ever.
My wife may be a close second, but I’ve never seen anyone work the room any better than Bill. At parties, there are always these bursts of laughter, and Bill was always in the middle of it. Most of the time, he was the cause of it.
I remember playing in a Member-Guest tournament with him at Walnut Grove G.C. in Dayton one year, and I remember two things in particular about that whole experience: 1) when Bill walked into the clubhouse, he had a running conversation with everyone there. Everyone. And 2) Bill made running side-bets with every team in the field. Every team.
We got to the first tee and I said, “Bill, I think we have about $1,000 in side bets, don’t we?”
He said, “Yeah, but if I putt well, we’re in good shape.”
I said, “Bill, how often do you putt well?”
He said, “Never. So you better play well."
If I had to summarize Bill’s life in one word, it would be “impact.” He definitely made an impact on everyone he encountered.
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II. IN BILL'S BOOK OF LIFE, no one ever had to wonder what Bill thought about a particular situation. I think God’s records will verify he had 7,856,456 conversations in his life, and never once did he sit quietly through a single conversation. Never. He always had his stories.
In 33 years. I never heard the same one twice. And every single one of them was 5,000 times better than any story I could ever tell.
Listen to me.
You ain’t gonna’ believe this.
True story.
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AS THE YEARS MOVED ON, Bill played a special role in my marriage to Kim. In 1990, the Armacosts had a party at their house to celebrate their daughter Kathy’s graduation from Miami University. It turned out to be the night of mine and Kim's first date. Two years later, when Kim and I were married, Bill walked Kim down the aisle. That meant a lot to both of us.
In the years that followed, Kim worked with Julie Armacost (now Bobo), at Main Street Hair Salon, so there were always get-togethers with everyone at Main Street (Christmas, Halloween, weddings). So I would see Bill frequently. As always, Bill was in the middle of all the celebrations. As always, he told the funny stories. It was during this time I came to see how much of a family man Bill was.
He loved Judith, his wife of 50 years, more than anything.
If he were here today, I think he would also take a quiet moment to offer a humble and tearful expression to Judy, using words like what James Garner used at the beginning of “The Notebook.”
"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name may soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."
Good stuff, Bill. Well-played, my friend.
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BILL WAS ALSO ESPECIALLY proud of his children -- Jeff (and Kendra), Kathy (and Jeff Kajawa) and Julie (and John Bobo). Not only were they his children; they were his friends.
If he ever had to wonder whether he was a success in life, all he had to do was look at them. Each is smart and successful and a good person. Bill was so proud of all of them.
I loved hearing what Jeff Armacost said the other night: “He led an amazing life because he lived such an amazed life,” he said. He had a magical way, especially with kids, with his Magic Closet that every kind of toy and gadget imaginable. The grandchildren loved it, and neighborhood kids sometimes came knocking on the door wanting to know if Bill could come out and play. In that way, it's like Bill never grew up.
Kathy said the other day she and some others were talking about who in your life is the glue that keeps everyone together. And that made her think of her dad. But she was also able to smile and chuckle. “He was silly putty, too.”
Julie said, “He won the family lottery of life.”
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MORE THAN ANYTHING, though, Bill was absolutely crazy about his grandchildren -- Graham Armacost; Emma, Ben and Sam Kajawa; Claire, Luke and Will Wuich; and Jalen and Jaren Bobo.
There's an old saying that goes like this: “As I grew older, I thought the best part of my life was over. Then I was handed my grandchildren, and I realized the best part of my life had just begun.”
This leads to the third thing I came to know about Bill. In Bill’s Book of Life, there was never a time he was asked to do something and he said, “Yeah, I know it will conflict with my grandson’s baseball game or my granddaughter’s soccer game, but that’s no big deal. I’ll catch the next one.” That never happened. Ever. He loved being a grandfather too much.
Bill always wanted to be a champion golfer, or maybe a business mogul, but he enjoyed one proud title that defined him until his last breath.
“Papa.”
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LIKE MOST OF YOU, I woke up to the sight of a brilliant sunrise Monday morning – something that was way more spectacular than usual. Because I believe God sends us signals all the time of His existence and the peace He can provide, I regarded the sunrise as some sort of sign. I just didn’t know what it was.
I turned right to go down the street, and that’s when I saw a double rainbow. And I’m like, “Oh, my goodness…” It was spectacular.
Sometime shortly after I got to work, I got the phone call from my wife Kim, and she was crying. Bill was gone.
I hung up the phone and sat quietly at my desk, reflecting on what I had just heard. That’s when I thought about the sunrise. That’s when I remembered the double rainbow.
Bill was sending word back home: "All is good."
God speaks to me through music all the time. As I sat there in my office, a song came on the radio, "Free Ride," which was popular on the radio 40 years ago:
The mountain is high the valley is low
And you're confused on which way to go
So I've come here to give you a hand
And lead you into the promised land
So, come on and take a free ride
(Free ride)
Come on and sit by my side
Come on and take a free ride
Faith was important to Bill. He went everywhere with his rosary. He served here at St. Mary's as an usher. It’s comforting to know that Bill was never more alive than he is right now.
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I HAVE NO DOUBT that when I get to heaven, and I find myself in a room full of peace, love and laughter, Bill will be in the middle of all of it.
Then he will come walking over, his smile as big as ever, and he will be anxious to tell me about what life in eternity will feel like.
Listen to me.
You ain’t gonna’ believe this.
True story.
This place is Phenomenal, buddy. Phenomenal.
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(I was honored the give the eulogy this morning at Bill's funeral this morning; these are my remarks. At top, there is Bill and Judy with all of their grandchildren. At bottom left, that is Bill walking Kim down the aisle on our wedding day. At bottom center, that is Bill with my dad, no doubt trash-talking one another about something. At bottom right, that's Bill on the golf course).